Which of the Following Dialectics Can Lead to Tension in Close Relationships?

Close relationships are sometimes called interpersonal relationships. The closest relationships are most oft establish with family and a small circle of best friends. Interpersonal relationships crave the well-nigh effort to nurture and maintain. These are also the relationships that requite yous the most joy and satisfaction. An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more than people that may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on inference, beloved, solidarity, regular business concern interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship, spousal relationship, relations with assembly, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual understanding, and are the basis of social groups and social club as a whole. A human relationship is normally viewed as a connexion betwixt individuals, such every bit a romantic or intimate relationship, or a parent–kid human relationship. Individuals can also accept relationships with groups of people, such as the relation betwixt a pastor and his congregation, an uncle and a family, or a mayor and a town. Finally, groups or fifty-fifty nations may take relations with each other. When in a healthy relationship, happiness is shown and the relationship is at present a priority.

Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence. Similar living organisms, relationships take a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives, and grade new relationships with others.

A number of theories have been formed to empathize interpersonal relationships. There is merit to looking at relationships from the perspective of each of these theories. To believe exclusively in ane theory and disregard the other theories would limit our understanding of social relationships.

Why Do Nosotros Establish Relationships?

From the moment of nascency, human beings depend on others to satisfy their bones needs. Through this, children come to associate close personal contact with the satisfaction of bones needs. After in life, we continue to seek personal contact for the same reason, even though nosotros know nosotros are capable of flling our own needs without relying on others for survival. Also, being around others becomes a habit and the basic physical needs of infancy aggrandize to include emotional and social needs aswell. These tin include the needs for praise, respect, amore, honey, achievement, and so on. It is these needs which are caused through social learning that motivate united states as humans to seek relationships with people who tin satisfy our needs throughout our lives.

Benefits of Satisfying Relationships

Practiced relationships require management, attempt, and attention, just the investment pays off in many ways. Special bonds with other people are important for both mental and concrete health. Research supports the idea that if we have stiff, caring relationships with others, we are more likely to be healthy and live longer. Satisfying relationships with family and friends promote career success and nosotros feel more protected too as happy. Poor relations, on the other hand, may promote depression, drug abuse, weight bug, and other mental health problems.

Qualities of Good & Bad Relationships

Some qualities of a adept relationship may be evident from the moment we come across a person. Other traits develop along with the relationship, giving the human relationship force and stability.

These are some of the common characteristics of a good human relationship:

• Rapport: where you feel comfortable or at ease with the other person. This can be automatic or it could take time to develop.
• Empathy: refers to the power to run into the globe through some other person's optics, understanding his/her feelings and actions.
• Trust: means that you tin depend on the other person. When you lot trust another person you lot wait acceptance and back up from him/her.
• Respect: involves accepting and appreciating the other person for who he/she is.
• Mental Expectations: are seen as relationships abound; partners should have the same mutual expectations for it. The relationship should be headed toward the same purpose or goals for both people.
• Flexibility: good relationships are flexible and can adjust to alter. Circumstances change and you can't always conduct through on plans you have made together. You lot sometimes have to make compromises and reassess your goals.
• Uniqueness: the relationship stands out or is in some way special or dissimilar.
• Irreplaceability: each interpersonal human relationship is equally unique as the people in them and can never be recreated.
• Interdependence: the other person'due south life concerns furnishings y'all.
• Cocky Disclosure: in an interpersonal relationship people share and entrust private information nigh themselves
• Honesty & Accountability: communicating openly and truthfully, admitting mistakes or beingness wrong, and accepting responsibility for 1's self.

Qualities of bad relationships

• Avoidance: People in unhealthy relationships just avoids facing reality. They get distant and will miss several occasions because they don't feel the need to exist there.
• Burnout: A relationship is at a low betoken or "burnout", it might make one of them feel trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down.
• Compatibility bug: Incompatibility will brand the human relationship unhealthy, considering y'all're not compatible, constant negativity will hinder intimacy. This volition pb to sad relationships in abiding conflict.
• Devotional void: A lack of commitment can make for unhealthy relationships. Ex: when you care for your spouse as a roommate or friend, this doesn't necessarily hateful yous accept to be in love 24/seven.
• Enthusiasm Dwindles: if a human relationship isn't spontaneous and becomes predictable information technology itself wil not exist as heady as information technology used to be.
• Forgiveness Void: Those unwilling or unable to forgive are expected to accept unhealthy relationships in the hereafter
• Just Say Yes: Those that feel that they tin't say no to drawing boundaries and sustain limits will brand their spouse less of a priority

Types of Interpersonal Relationships
We define types of interpersonal relationships in terms of relational contexts of interaction and the types of expectations that communicators accept of one some other.

Friendship	Theories of friendship emphasize the concept of friendship as a freely called association
Family	Family communication patterns establish roles, identities and enable the growth of individuals. Family dysfunction may also exist exhibited by communication patterns.
Romantic	Romantic relationships are defined in terms of the concepts of passion, intimacy and commitment.
Professional	Professional person communication encompasses pocket-sized group communication and interviewing.

In an attempt to understand why people form relationships a number of theories accept been formed. These include:

• Attachment/Affiliation Theory
• Confirming and Valuing Human relationship Theory
• Social Exchange Theory
• Disinterestedness Theory
• Minding Relationships Theory
• Systems Thoery

Phases of Interpersonal Relationships
Identified iv sequential phases in the interpersonal relationship:

• 1. Orientation two. Identification 3. Exploitation 4. Resolution

Systems Theory
The holistic backside the General Organization Theory (Von Bertallanfy, 1968)
created a stir in thesciences because they challenged conventional, linear cause and issue thinking and replaced it with process thinking, which acknowledges life's interconnections and cycles. Von Bertalanffy's idea had a immense impact on the natural sciences through the concept of ecosystems, challenging scientists to expect at the residue of interactions between all of the elements of an area, soil, water, air, plants, animals, and humans to see what works for optimum survival and wellness.

Systems Theory Levels:

Attachment/Affiliation Theory

People are more often than not social animals, they seek the company of others. People are meant to feel secure when a sure person is present, and to feel anxious when that person is absent. This desire for human contact can exist thought of as a two-pronged need; the need for attachment and the need for affiliation. These are two distinct, withal interrelated needs.

• Attachment: the demand to form special close relationships
• Amalgamation: the need to be with other people in general – a sense of belonging to a larger group.

Attachment of children to caregivers:Children develop different styles of attachment based on their by experiences and interactions with their caregivers. Iv different attachment styles have been identified in children: secure, anxious-ambivalent, anxious-avoidant, and disorganized. This theory has become the ascendant theory today when studying babe and toddler behavior. Attachments with caregivers early in life are crucial for salubrious development since they human action equally templates for later relationships.

Zipper in adult romantic relationships:This theory was extended to adult romantic relationships in the late 1980's. Iv zipper styles have been identified in adults: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. Investigators have explored the system and stability of mental working models that underlie these attachment styles.

Confirming and Valuing Relationship Theory
Inquiry indicates that human beings need visitor most when they are afraid, broken-hearted, or unsure of themselves and want to compare their feelings with those of others. Relationships assistance people to confirm and validate their ideas and feelings likewise as to value themselves. Social science research indicates that confirming and valuing happens in iii stages. The confirming and valuing theory happens in three stages:

• Recognition: the physical presence of the other person is recognized.
• Acknowledgment: interest is shown in the ideas and feelings of the other person.
• Endorsement: both people agree to the relationship and encourages ideas

Can yous think of a relationship with another person who consistently recognizes you, acknowledges you and endorses your feelings and ideas? How important is this relationship to you?

Ex) the brothers off of Stepbrothers realize that they will be brothers which is recognition, when they start talking nearly things they both bask that is acknowledgment, when they decide that they accept simply become All-time FRIENDS that is the endorsement stage.
Social Commutation Theory

The rewards of a human relationship (or outcomes a person derives) must be greater than, or at least equal to, the investment costs of the relationship. Rewards can be dear, condition, information, money, goods, services and and so on. The post-obit formula captures the essence of the social exchange theory.

Co-ordinate to the social exchange theory, a person seeks to form and maintain those relationships that give the most rewards for the least costs.

Ex) the pay a prostitute gets minus the emotional cost could equal a good event for he/she if the pay is neat plenty and/or the emotions are not there. Just on the other hand, it could also equal a bad outcome if he/she doesn't get paid what was agreed upon, and/or at that place is a bunch of emotional baggage after the session is over.

Equity Theory
The disinterestedness theory is basically a more complex version of the social exchange theory. Some social scientific discipline researchers believe that people are not solely motivated by the need to attain a positive balance sheet in their relationships. Equity theory explains that people are as well concerned nearly disinterestedness in their relationships. In other words, they believe that the rewards and costs they experience in a human relationship should be roughly equal to the rewards and costs experienced by their relationship partner. While the rewards and costs may vary in kind, they are roughly equivalent in their value to the individuals involved. The essence of the disinterestedness theory may be illustrated past the following formula:

Ex) when in a relationship and all the work, time, money and feelings are equal to what your partner is putting into a relationship that is the equity theory.
Ex) if y'all are always the one buying everything and making certain everything is working and running smoothly in your relationship when your partner does nothing for you ever, then you two are not equal because on one side you add so much cost and get very little rewards and your partner gets lots of rewards and submits no cost.

Minding Relationships Theory

The mindfulness theory of relationships shows how closeness in relationships may be enhanced. Minding is the "reciprocal knowing process involving the nonstop, interrelated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of persons in a relationship." Five components of "minding" include:

• Knowing and existence known: seeking to understand the partner and exist understood
• Making relationship-enhancing attributions for behaviors: giving the benefit of the dubiety
• Accepting and respecting: empathy and social skills
• Maintaining reciprocity: active participation in relationship enhancement
• Continuity in minding: persisting in mindfulness

Ex) y'all are out i night with your significant other, and just past the await on their face and their body language, you can tell that they want to get dwelling house and and then do you.

Phase's of Relationship Formation
Many psychologists believe that relationships are formed, maintained, and end in a series of observable and definable stages. The number of stages, the names given to various stages, and the descriptions of stages vary from researcher to researcher. Murstein, for example, has a three-stage model, Levenger proposes a five-stage model and Knapp breaks down the ascension and fall of relationships into 10 stages. The currently virtually widely accustomed model was developed by Mark Knapp in 1998. The stages tin broadly utilise to all relationships. They are especially descriptive of intimate, romantic relationships, and of close friendships.

Knapp's Model of Relational Stages

one. Initiating: expressing involvement in making contact and showing that you lot are the kind of person worth getting to know.

2. Experimenting: the procedure of getting to know others and gaining more information well-nigh them.

3. Intensifying: an interpersonal human relationship is now beginning to emerge. Feelings nigh the other person are now openly expressed, forms of accost go more familiar, commitment is at present openly expressed, and the parties begin to see themselves as "we" instead of separate individuals.

4. Integrating: identification as a social unit of measurement. Social circles merge. Partners develop unique, ritualistic ways of behaving. Obligation to the other person increases. Some personal characteristics are replaced and nosotros become dissimilar people.

5. Bonding: the ii people make symbolic public gestures to evidence gild that their relationship exists (rings, friendship bracelets, gifts, commitment).

half dozen. Differentiating: the need to re-establish separate identities begins to emerge. The cardinal to successful differentiation is maintaining a delivery to the relationship while creating the space for autonomy and individuality.

vii. Circumscribing: communication between the partners decreases in quantity and quality. It involves a certain amount of shrinking of involvement and commitment.

8. Stagnating: no growth occurs. Partners behave toward each other in old, familiar ways without much feeling.

9. Avoiding: the cosmos of physical, mental, and emotional distance between the partners.

ten. Termination: in romantic relationships the best predictor of whether the two people volition now become friends is whether they were friends before their emotional interest.

The illustration below shows how the x stages can be grouped into three overlapping and integrated phases: the Meeting phase, the Relational Maintenance phase, and the Coming Apart stage.

Process Models of Relationship Development

Psychologists who hold with the procedure models of relationship evolution point out that people grapple with the same kinds of challenges, whether a human relationship is relatively new or already well established. Process Models suggest that the fundamental to successful relationships lies in finding a balance between opposing or incompatible forces that office simultaneously in our lives. Theorists call these conflicting forces dialectical tensions. Iii powerful dialectal tensions that are inherent in the majority of relationships include the following:

• Connection versus Autonomy – the alien desires for connection with another person and independence

• Predictability versus Novelty – stability is an of import need in relationships, but too much of it can atomic number 82 to feelings of staleness

• Openness versus Privacy – along with the drive for intimacy, nosotros have an equally important need to maintain some infinite from others

Rules aid to constitute a balance between dialectical forces. Rules here tin can exist defined as shared opinions or beliefs most what should or should not be washed in the relationship. Rules vary with the particular types of relationships. Considering relationships are unique, they may accept a set up of common rules and a set of unique rules that guide behaviour. Examples of mutual rules that apply in all or most relationships are: respect for privacy, honesty, confidences, and emotional back up. These rules can modify in severity depending on the morals, beliefs and views of the people in the relationship. Particular types of relationships such equally a lawyer/customer relationship crave boosted rules like making appointments for consultation, payment for services, and and so on. Rules provide checks and balances that aid maintain satisfying relationships. Violating the rules may put the relationship in jeopardy.

seven Essential Skills to Edifice Strong Relationships

one. Relax Optimistically
If you are comfy effectually others, they will feel comfy around you. If you appear nervous, others volition sense it and withdraw. If you are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if you've rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful builder of rapport. Communicating with relaxed optimism, energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting relationships.
2. Mind Deeply
Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and letters; information technology connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Mind to what the person is not saying as well equally to what he or she is saying. Focus intently and mind to the messages conveyed backside and between words.
Listen also with your optics and heart. Notice facial expressions and body postures, but meet beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range of emotions conveyed by tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Discern what the person wants you lot to hear and likewise what they want y'all to feel.
3. Feel Empathetically
Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your stance or belief. Treat their mistakes as yous would want them to care for your mistakes. Allow the individual know that you are concerned with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen the bond of trust.
4. Respond Carefully
Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person's moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ in shades of pregnant, intensity, and impact. What did yous acquire when listening securely to the other private? Reflect your interpretation of the person's bulletin dorsum to them. Validate your agreement of their bulletin.
Compliment the person for the wisdom and insights they've shared with yous. This shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the individual. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. If you consider in advance the bear upon of your emotions and words, you will create a positive touch on on your relationships.
five. Synchronize Cooperatively
When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.
Equally relationships mature, the needs and values of the individuals and relationship volition change. Career relationships volition require the flexibility to meet changing schedules and new projection goals. Cooperative actions provide synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are part of the give and take that empowers stiff, enduring relationships.
vi. Act Authentically
Interim authentically means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts that create simulated appearances and false security.
When you deed authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You lot say what yous volition practise, and do what you say. Inquire for what you desire in all areas of your relationships. Be clear virtually what you will tolerate. Observe out what your human relationship partners want also. Being accurate creates common trust and respect.
vii. Acknowledge Generously
Look for and accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions. If yous let someone know that they are valuable and special, they will non forget you lot. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship.
Don't forget to admit your nigh important relationship: the relationship with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities, and put those qualities into action. You lot cannot grade a stronger relationship with others than you accept with yourself. You lot will concenter the qualities in others that are already within you.

Enquire yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships I desire? What is one activity I could accept today that would empower my current relationships?
Write down all the qualities or behaviors that you desire for your relationships. Select the ability skills that will attract those qualities. Go along a journal of the deportment yous take and the progress you make. Past turning these skills into lifelong habits, you will build relationships that are healthy, strong and mutually rewarding.

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Source: https://courses.lumenlearning.com/interpersonalcommunicationxmaster/chapter/interpersonal-relationships/

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